Unless you’ve been marooned for the past three or four months on a deserted island, you’re no doubt quite aware of the COVID-19 pandemic. Here in New Hampshire, the state governor has issued a stay-at-home order where all non-essential businesses such as retail stores, movie theaters, hair salons and tattoo parlors (c’mon, folks. You can live without a new tat.) The order will be in effect until May 4th, when presumably this thing will have peaked and started to subside.
Many places have already voluntarily shut down. For the first time I have no problem finding a parking space on Main Street. Of course there’s no place to shop for non-essential goodies. While on-line shopping is still possible, I did get an email yesterday from Herrschners, an online store I occasionally buy cross-stitch material and jigsaw puzzles from, indicating new orders would not be shipped out until further notice. The state of Wisconsin, where they are located has issued a directive. Apparently someone thinks coronavirus can be shipped through the mail. (Sigh…) At least I’m all stocked up with projects.
The local churches have suspended services until further notice.
Someone thoughtfully put a little votive candle in a glass jar with a sign saying ‘Pray for USA.’
Now the title of this post is ‘The Toilet Paper Crisis’ for good reason. Does anyone know where the stuff went? I know people were panic buying, purchasing mass quantities of the stuff (because it’s all about your needs, right? To hell with everybody else.) I stocked up before hand after reading warnings about possible panic buying and I’m glad I did. But I suspect I will probably run out by mid-April. As long as a new supply comes into the stores, that’s okay but so far I don’t see any sign of that. Have the paper mills all shut down? Did all our toilet paper come from overseas? Apparently no one has a clue what’s really going on.
So until this mess starts to get straightened out, what do we do in the meantime? What do we use instead of toilet paper? Well, there are a variety of options, not all of them for the germaphobic.
One solution is a bidet which looks a little like a cross between a toilet and a sink. You use it to wash your private parts after you use the toilet, though you will still need to dry yourself. Some bidets come with air dryers but that can run into some money. There are low tech choices, often used in third world nations, such as the tabo and the iota. If you are the frugal type, there are inexpensive mini-bidets for use when traveling which will accomplish the same purpose for less money. Adventurous types might want to try re-purposing items already in the home.
Reusable fabric wipes are available for drying yourself once you’ve used any of the above. They just need to be laundered afterwards. Those who are old enough to recall reusable diapers no doubt remember the routine. While baby wipes are still available, it is strongly advised to leave those for mothers who need them. Also do not flush wipes down the toilet as they will clog up sewage pipes.
Newsprint will work in a pinch as well as sponges as long as you use the sponges for only this purpose and clean them afterwards. Plant leaves can be used if nothing else is available. Just don’t pick something you might be allergic to!
This crisis will pass as all emergencies do but life being what it is, more may loom on the horizon down the road. Learning alternatives to business as usual will leave us better prepared for the next one.
Take care, all.
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A special note. I have sold another short story to the magazine Into The Ruins, the spring 2020 issue.
Thank you very much, Mr Caris!